HUGE ASS PIG

**** GORE ****

I was at a fancy dinner party to celebrate the make and model of a new car apparently because there was a car in the middle of the room surrounded by fancy tables and even fancier people. It was a very fancy shindig. I felt sort of out of place like someone had dragged me to this event and I was less than happy to be wearing an itchy suit. Anywho, the lights suddenly went down and an ominous voice boomed on the intercom,

"All the exits have been locked. There is no escape. The survivors must progress through each room. At the end you will know why you're here."

It clicked off. People looked around confusedly then machine guns popped out of slots from the walls and mowed down a few people. I ducked under a table with my date, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. The gunfire stopped as did the screams. Anyone dumb enough to have not ducked under a table was dead and the ones that survived were too shocked to make much noise. The voice continued.

"Progress to the next room. You have 15 minutes before a deadly gas is released in this room. I suggest you play the game."

People started crawling out from under the tables, sobbing, huddling together and generally looking like frightened rabbits... not that I can judge, my fancy white suit was spattered with blood (wow, I have such cheerful dreams...). I was the first one to stand up and try all the doors. They were indeed locked and there were no windows. The door to the next room was under a spotlight which was the only light in the room besides the tea candles on the tables. People started gathering behind me.

I realized some of my friends were with me; Jesse, Ness, Tom, Shamus, Peter, Lalita (who by the way was wearing a lovely dress which would've been even lovelier had it not been soaked in blood), and this dude Steven from high school that was kind of a jackass. He was the one that said, "Go on, open it!" so I gingerly opened the door and peered through. I saw this huge, and I mean huge boar-like pig that was covered in maggots charging towards us so I slammed it shut just in time to hear the creature attempting to break the door down.

"There's a huge fucking pig on the other side!" And the maggots thing kinda freaked me out as well... undead monster pig... ugh.

Steven, ever the charmer, said, "So? It's just a pig. Lemme see!" He pushed past me and cracked the door to look. We almost lost control of the door and had fun trying to shut it again but the 8 of us managed... eventually. The door was beginning to splinter.

"Holy shit! That's a huge ass pig! What now? We have ten minutes left!"

Peter asked, "Do we have any weapons?"

Lalita said, "... salad forks." with a look of utter disdain. XD

I got an idea, "CAR. Someone get in the car and hit the pig with the car when it breaks down the door!"

As it turns out, there with no keys... the pig's snout was poking through the door a bit in a very 'Heeere's Johnny' way. I shouted at Steven, "Make yourself useful and hot wire the damn thing!"
He did and got behind the wheel just as the monster broke through and we were sent flying from the impact. The car was sort of a cross between a hummer and a truck so when it and the pig collided  the pig slowed down a bit but left a huge pig-shaped dent in the front. He backed up and hit it again, finally knocking it over though it was only a matter of time before it got back up again.

Tom headed for the hallway calling out in a very Bobby-way, "C'mon, ya idgits." The other people stayed behind but as we were further down the hall they started following us slowly.

We entered another room which seemed empty. We all paused at the door. Steven started running across it to get to the door, I sensed something wasn't right... I ran after him to save his sorry ass when I realized there were several trip wires set up. He set one off but I managed to push him out of the way as a spear was launched from the side of the room... unfortunately it speared me in the process and pinned me to the wall through my stomach.

I gave my, 'Alas, go on without me' speach, my friends were reluctant to leave me but there was nothing they could do. Peter wanted to pull it out but Ness explained that it would only kill me faster and I only had 15 minutes before poison gas was released in this room as well so they all just stayed with me until I slipped away.

I woke up. I love you all. *wipes tear* ... except Steven because you're a douche for getting me killed.