Friday 21-Saturday 22
Couldn't sleep so I wandered downstairs and dicked about the internets for a while getting gradually more tipsy as the night went on (hey, man, it was the weekend) and then wandered back upstairs. After what was a rather lovely evening I drifted off to sleeps and then was met with a series of unpleasant dreams. They were all so vivid and were all in the same setting so I wasn't really sure a few times if I was actually dreaming or if what was happening was real. Dragged my feet on posting this one too and I think I'll leave out some things.
These all took place in my room.
1. My Mother
Came into my room and began yelling at me about having people over. She was screaming at me but I was unable to answer or even move. I'm beginning to wonder if this was a paralysis dream because of how vivid it was and how I was unable to move or breathe properly. In reality she has never screamed at me like that. It was awful. It was like a running list of all the times I knew I had disappointed her or done something dumb but hearing her call me on every single little thing really kinda tore me up.
I twitched awake, still in my room.
2. My Friends (This was more like four smaller separate dreams as four of my friends made an appearance at different times, I just didn't want to use names).
They came to me one by one and were angry with me that I hadn't been a good friend to them, that I hadn't been there for them when they needed me, and that I was constantly dumping my problems on them. These were people I consider fairly close to me so I felt awful hearing all the things I had done and hadn't done for them. I felt like a piece of shit... and they made a point of telling me I was.
I kept trying to say I was sorry but I couldn't. They kept shouting at me.
I twitched awake, still in my room.
3. My Grandmother (perhaps the most frightening of all)
I thought I was awake but then my grandmother came into the room, twitching horribly like some animated puppet. She was howling and clawing at my walls, where her fingers ran down the paint began peeling off and soon the walls were dripping with paint. It was the surreality of it all that made me jerk awake again.
4. An old Love
I woke up. The room was dark as I had left it when I wandered back to bed. I rolled over and put an arm around the person next to me only when they turned I realized it wasn't who I thought it was. I panicked and asked, "How the hell did you get in here?! Where is he? If you hurt him I'll fucking kill you!". He lunged at me.
Twitched awake again.
5. Mom and my Friend
I thought I was awake so I got up, got dressed, went downstairs. Mom was upset with me for having my friend stay over and she was shouting at me about that. I was embarassed about having an argument with my mom in front of this person, so as I grabbed my backpack I kind of snapped and shouted, "Just shut up! All of you just shut up!" They both looked at me in shock so I added, "I'm sorry, I just had a weird night and all these dreams... oh shit..." Their faces distorted as they laughed at me and my realization.
I woke up... finally... I think. Sometimes I think my subconscious just likes fucking with my emotions for shits and giggles.
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