Tyrion, you handsome devil

Had an awesome Game of Thrones dream...

So I was wandering around in a whorehouse (best first line ever) and all these girls were propostioning me which was awkward as they were in various states of undress. They also had mask-like faces which were painted like china dolls. I kept awkwardly refusing them because I was poor and frankly they were sort of creepy with their masks. I heard a voice and the sea of boobies parted revealing Tyrion lounging on some pillows with one masked beauty at his feet and another draped over his shoulder.
"Treat the lad to a bath." He watched them undress me and get into the tub. As I awkwardly sat in the tub and allowed them to scrub me.

We talked for a while.

Tyrion said, "You look weary. Back from the war, solider?"

I replied, "Yes." and then I looked at the bath water and it was indeed filthy.

"I see, well you can stay here for the night,"

"Thank you, sir--"

"on one condition; you share my bed."

Hardest decision of my life, really. Took me 2 seconds to decide, "Oh hells yes." What? He's a sexy man and I absolutely love his character's personality and kindness to other "misfits" but that's beside the point...

He eventually asked me why I left the army and I told him it was because I wasn't good enough and they'd all be better off without me. Then he said,
"Is that why you ran away from home too?"
I remember that struck a nerve. I've never felt so naked before, ever... both literally and figuratively.
Then he said, "It's alright, I -see- you and you are good enough..." then his voice changed from sincere to raunchy, "... deeeefinitely good enough." So I splashed him and we laughed. It was great.


Then apparently the whorehouse/tavern had caught fire and there were enemy soliders attacking the town. I scrambled for my sword and jumped in front of Tyrion just as they burst through the door. They rushed us and I kept them at bay... even buck nekkid. I killed them all but more were coming. I headed for the door but Tyrion shouted,

"Are you going to fight a war without your pants on?!"
I replied, "Priorities!" meaning that I didn't have time to get dressed.
Tyrion grabbed my pants and then my hand, pulling me with him as we headed for the back door. When I tried to protest he only said, "Priorities!"

We snuck into a loft in another building and I managed to get dressed. I was about to head back out and fight. Tyrion called after me, "Why? Why must you fight?"
So I smiled and said, "So I have something to come back to." Then winked and headed into BATTLE!

I was slicing through them like no one's business. I remember some of my moves came from The Witcher PC game, mostly the power ups. I picked up a lighter enemy sword and used both, spinning and dancing and slicing and when my arm got tired, I dropped my heavier sword and used my free hand to chuck anything with in reach at the enemy. I believe I hit a dude in the head with a bucket of milk at one point.

After the big battle and the enemy batalion being destroyed by me and a few angry farmers with crude weapons, I went back to the loft and all but collapsed on the hay near Tyrion. He was delightfully snarky as ever,
"Welcome home, Honey. Rough day at work?"
"Shut up. Although I do need a drink. There's a wine stall outside that's still in tact."
"I'll come with you."

So we went to the stall which was more like a lemonade stand but it was totally lemonade wine. I was going to purchase my own bottle eventhough I was sort of afraid they'd card me but then Tyrion went ahead and bought me a few bottles. "A Lanister always pays his debts."

And then talked some more as we enjoyed our lemonade wine in the middle of a burning village but the dream faded and got progressively more wonky.